Coach Bungay Stainer Jumps on the Meaning of Life

What is the meaning of life? Michael Bungay Stainer offers an answer. His recent book, How To Begin[:] Start Doing Something That Matters (Toronto, ON: MBS Works, 2022) is interesting not so much for its insight, but rather as a reflection of the “purpose solution” genre of our time.

What is the root of this genre? A recent McKinsey & Company article, titled “Help your employees find purpose—or watch them leave,” addressed a key dynamic of the search for meaning in our society. A whopping 89% of employees surveyed said they want purpose in their lives. Further, 70% said that their sense of purpose is largely defined by work.

 So, people are starved for purpose. Stainer offers a deficient solution in his book which raises more questions than provides answers. He explains that “We all get one crack at this life, so make the most of it. Do something that matters. That means being double ambitious—for your life, and for the world.” [1] Why? Why do something that matters?  Why should someone care about the world? We aren’t told.

 He explains his key term: “Ambitious for your life means unlocking your greatness and becoming the best version of yourself.” [1] According to whom? According to yourself? If so, people might already think they are ambitious according to their own standard.

 Stainer further explains that, “Ambition for the world means looking past your own happiness, and the test is, “Will you give more to the world than you take?”” [2] According to whom? How to define “giving” and “taking?”

 Now we veer into the territory of Tony Robbins and all the New Age / self help gurus of recent times: “As you unlock your greatness by working on the hard things, you’ll make a difference and you’ll make the world a little better.” The hard things relate to what he calls the “Worthy Goal”] [2] Yes, “unlock your greatness,” and be all you can be. Again, why? Why make the work a life better?  According to whom?

 He makes some startling assumptions in the book, with the following bromide for superheroes: “Here’s what unites everyone who picks up this book: You sense the stirrings of your own ambition. You know that you have more to contribute. You want to shake things up and make a difference. You want to learn and grow. You want to use your power for good.” [4] No, not everyone is united in this manner. What is making a difference? Is everyone yearning to be a superhero?

 Stainer suggests the following process. First, “Set a Worthy Goal.” This is, “…a goal that is Thrilling, Important and Daunting. A Worthy Goal entwines ambition for yourself and for the world.” [4] Second, “Commit.” Stainer explains that “You want to be clear and confident that this is a journey worth taking.” [5] Third, “Cross the Threshold” towards the Worthy Goal. Get going [5]

 Stainer reminds us of the melodramatic nature of this discussion: “Your Worthy Goal must be worth your life. Your Life!” [16] To conclude his book he references, “…the Biblical story of Jacob, who wrestles with the angel. You never win when you wrestle with the angel; that’s not the point. But it is everything to be doing work that matters enough that the angel meets and engages with you…” [185]

 Stainer notes that, “When we take on Worthy Goads, we wrestle with the angel and it changes us. We unlock our greatness by working on the hard things.” [185]

 This book exhibits all the classic features of New Age / eclectic spirituality. It is very short on details about what is significant. It draws on no precedents, just Stainer’s life of experience. Rather than standing on the shoulder of giants and drawing on thousands of years of wisdom, apart from the journey of Jacob, we have 50 years of a life lived.

 He doesn’t address his underlying value system. His arguments float untethered to the space station. There is no discernable foundation for his views. Why should people want to make a difference? It’s an evolutionary contradiction. Unless it’s completely self-serving (lizards helped other lizards because they might need a lizard posse on their side) there’s no motivation.

 He doesn’t make the foundational distinction between meaning in life and meaning in work. Work is a subset of life. How do people establish meaning in their lives? They bring this worldview to the workplace. Purpose cannot be discerned at work, until it is addressed in life.

 Stainer has minimal new insights and, in fact, virtually all of it has been said many times, many ways previously—but he can share it with his particular spin and style and to that extent it can be helpful. This is in contrast to his books in his sweet spot, such as The Coaching Habit, which is excellent.

 Authors, such as Stainer, typically follow the genre of purpose solution writings: a focus on personal empowerment, achieving greatness, be all you can be and I’m successful and you can be, too.

 Much more is required. Otherwise, it’s a classic case of guru overreach: competency in one area, such as coaching, does not lead to insights in other areas.